It’s just a fantasy, but can you imagine what Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu might say if injected with truth serum?

Here’s one version of how such a speech might go:

“Thank you, Republicans and evangelical Christians, for labeling “antisemitic” anyone who dares criticize Israel’s military or political tactics. This is a vaccination against criticism that not even RFK Jr. can rescind. Antisemitism actually is hatred, discrimination, or hostile acts directed at Jews because they are Jews, and we should reserve the word for that. But now that many Americans have illogically expanded the definition to include anyone who criticizes Israel, our country has the world’s best get-out-of-jail-free card and license to do pretty much what we want.

“Thank you, world, for allowing us to develop a massive arsenal of nuclear weapons and letting us maintain a public stance of ambiguity — meaning we never confirm or deny that we possess them. Much appreciation, too, for not making a big deal out of the fact that we’ve never signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. A special thanks to France for helping to get our nuclear program off the ground many decades ago and to the United States for ignoring that CIA report stating our first nuclear bombs may have been built with highly enriched uranium stolen from the U.S. Navy.

“Thank you, American taxpayers, for the $308 billion in economic and military assistance to Israel since our country’s founding in 1948. I especially appreciate that only a scant few in the U.S. are aware of this generosity or ask why Congress and the White House aren’t spending this money on Americans. I really like the law Congress passed in 2008 requiring the U.S. to ensure we remain one of the world’s strongest military powers.

“Thank you, President Biden, for floating the idea that we scale back the slaughter of women and children in the Gaza war while never holding us to account or withdrawing your unconditional support for our scorched-earth military operation. As you might say, thank you, thank you, thank you.

“Thank you, President Trump, for doing everything I ask. You are Israel’s greatest ally, blind to the consequences of potentially involving the United States in yet another protracted Middle East war — this time with Iran. Bombs away, my friend.

“Thank you to the U.S. for ignoring that we’ve long operated the world’s largest open-air prison in Gaza. Jimmy Carter railed against it, of course, but Americans thankfully don’t appreciate leaders with morals who also are students of history. The beauty of that open-air prison is that it breeds continuous resentment and hatred among the Palestinians toward Israel, thus guaranteeing future wars. The end game is every Palestinian in exile and Israel with expanded borders.

“Thank you, world, for often underestimating me. Some of my own countrymen thought they had toppled me just a few years ago. American, European, and Middle East leaders believe they can lay political traps for me and rein me in. But no one has succeeded in matching my tactical genius, ruthlessness, and endurance.

“A confession: At times, it has been so easy I get bored and that’s when I make the occasional careless mistake. However, I sleep like a baby at night knowing AIPAC has a firmer grasp on the U.S. Congress than the Speaker of the House, the Senate Majority Leader, and the minority leaders combined. There’s nothing an American politician fears more than losing his or her seat and — through AIPAC — I exploit that weakness time and again.

“It’s almost as easy as breaking eggs with a jackhammer.”