Retired NFL player Aaron Donald received an email in March from the head of people and culture for a health care technology startup.

“Hi Hubby!” Janelle Anwar wrote. “Please save. Love you!”

She attached a copy of her annual performance review, which was filled with glowing comments from the company’s chief executive.

What appeared to be a routine email from a significant other was part of something much darker. Donald is not Anwar’s husband. The two have not met. For years, she has sent him unsettling emails, chats and voice memos and called him on the phone, according to court records. She tracked down his brother, sending him numerous emails, and attempted to have items delivered to Donald’s children. She traveled to Pittsburgh for his football camp, where she claimed to have encountered his daughter.

Even though Donald is married, Anwar filed two baseless divorce petitions, seeking millions of dollars.

Two weeks before emailing her performance review, Anwar sent a series of chat messages that Donald took as threats against his 3-year-old son.

In an application for a restraining order in April, Donald wrote, “I am fearful for my safety and the safety of my wife and children, and the safety of my brother.”

A Detailed Look at a Fixated Stranger

Though most stalking victims are women, the issue remains deeply problematic for all athletes. Donald was one of the most dominant defenders in NFL history, a 6-foot-1, 280-pound Rams lineman known for his strength and toughness. In 10 seasons, he missed only nine regular-season games. But five years of intensifying harassment from Anwar left him exasperated and afraid. His ordeal provides a detailed look at being targeted by a fixated stranger.

“One of the things that a lot of stalking survivors talk about, famous or otherwise, is the constant state of worry they had about what the person may or may not do, where they may or may not show up,” said Carlos Cuevas, a professor of criminology and criminal justice at Northeastern University. “The unpredictability is a big concern.”

Donald has been active on social media, posting about vacations, birthday celebrations, playing basketball with his wife. While experts say social media can lead fixated strangers to believe they are connected to celebrities in a way they are not, it is unclear what role it played for Anwar. In a court filing, she acknowledged following him on social media since 2023.

Donald wrote in a court filing that threatening and harassing emails and calls from Anwar began in 2020. He blocked the addresses and phone numbers, but the messages continued, as Anwar used at least nine email addresses.

Experts say public figure stalkers have often experienced some kind of significant setback like the death of a loved one or loss of a job to go along with a psychiatric disorder. They can fixate on a public figure through something as innocuous as the person signing an autograph or wearing a certain outfit to which a would-be stalker attaches a personal meaning.

“The underlying mental health issues or personality issues have to be there already,” Eugene Rugala, a retired FBI profiler, said of strangers stalking public figures. “Well-adjusted people don’t do this, obviously. They can have a true belief that they’re in some kind of relationship and they want to walk into the sunset with the individual. That, to me, is the ultimate endgame.”

Anwar, 48, joined a digital health company as vice president for people operations in 2021. She joined her most recent company, a health care technology startup, in November 2023. Former colleagues did not recall her mentioning Donald in workplace conversations.

That fall, Anwar wrote in a court filing, she attended several football games. Her pursuit of Donald expanded, too.

A delivery from a florist for Donald’s daughter arrived at the family’s former home the day before the Rams played the Seattle Seahawks in November 2023. The invoice instructed the driver to “ask for Aaron Donald at gate.” The same day, a stack of Amazon packages for the daughter and one of Donald’s sons was delivered. More packages for the daughter and son appeared a week later.

All of it came from Anwar.

A month later, Anwar smiled as she sat in the front row of her company’s staff photograph, like just another employee.

Two weeks before Donald announced his retirement from the Rams in March 2024, another package from Anwar arrived at his former home. The next month, he received $5 from her on Zelle with a brief message: “I love you.”

A series of unusual posts appeared a few weeks later on a Twitter account with the same “Red Barry” pseudonym Anwar used in several court filings and emails. The phrasing, details and themes in posts mirrored her messages.

“I love Aaron Donald.”

“I accidentally married Aaron Donald.”

“Aaron and I married confidentially in May of 2024.”

Posts from the account, which has been deleted, mentioned the Los Angeles County community where Donald and his family moved in 2022, made baseless allegations about crimes involving celebrities, accused a high-profile figure of paying $1 million for a copy of her marriage certificate and claimed the author was telepathic and psychic.

52% of Celebrity Stalkers Want a Relationship With Victim

One study found that 52% of celebrity stalkers it examined wanted a relationship — affectional or sexual — with the victim. Significant mental disorders were a problem for a majority of the subjects, too.

“They will start talking about their relationship with the person and, on the surface, you think, ‘Well, they obviously do know this person,’” said J. Reid Meloy, a forensic psychologist who consults on public figure stalking cases and works with law enforcement. “And then it typically gets more and more bizarre.” He added, “You realize you are now within their delusion and they’re communicating to you this psychotic belief.”

While court documents do not offer an underlying motivation for Anwar’s suspected behavior, they show increasingly direct approaches to Donald. In June 2024, Anwar traveled to Pittsburgh for his youth football camp, according to a court filing. She wrote that she watched him in front of the stadium “where he briskly passed by her to acknowledge her presence with a smile and nonverbal greeting” and she crossed paths with his daughter at a snack bar.

The “Red Barry” Twitter posts about being married to Donald continued. Then Anwar filed for divorce.

In a November petition in Los Angeles County Superior Court, she claimed to have married Donald on May 25, 2024 — he was celebrating his birthday with his wife and family in Pittsburgh that day. She wanted a lump-sum payment of $3.8 million within 60 days of the divorce being completed.

Up to this point, Anwar had not been accused of violence. But the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department cited her for misdemeanor battery on Jan. 17. The department refused to provide details about what happened and denied two public records requests. Anwar did not respond to questions from The Athletic about the episode.

A month and a half later, the messages peppering Donald grew more frequent and worrisome. They included Anwar’s pledge on a chat that he would have to pay for the life of his young son.

Less Than a Third of Victims Contact Authorities

Experts say that victims, regardless of stature, can be reluctant to go to law enforcement for a variety of reasons, including fear that it might escalate the stalker’s behavior. A report to Congress by the attorney general in 2022 found that less than a third of stalking victims involved the authorities.

Three days after the alarming messages about Donald’s young son, Anwar filed another divorce petition against the former player. She again used the “Red Barry” pseudonym and sought $6.5 million. The petition was mailed to the NFL — care of Commissioner Roger Goodell — in a certified letter without a return address.

Donald received another flurry of chat messages from Anwar the same day: “You’re done … FBI report coming … I will start reporting all of your bodies … And I will use my real name … And I will state I am your wife currently … Today is my day bitch.”

He was copied on an email Anwar sent to a DJ on March 18. The DJ had no connection to either of them. Donald’s current address was in the subject line. She knew where he lived.

Six hours later, Donald got the email with Anwar’s annual performance review.

Donald received another email from Anwar the same night. His lawyer called her the next day. The next night, Anwar attempted to send a DoorDash delivery to Donald’s current home, but security at the gated community refused it.

Donald’s application for a restraining order in April did not appear to give Anwar pause. Her responsive declaration filed a few days later sought to subpoena 50 NFL players in addition to DNA testing for the Donald children. She suggested Rams players broke into her Los Angeles home as a prank and left a sock belonging to coach Sean McVay — she wanted it tested for DNA, too.

Five-Year Restraining Order Granted

A judge granted a five-year restraining order against Anwar in May. She did not attend the hearing. But two days later, she emailed Donald’s legal team. The email claimed that “the marriage/divorce is not a sham,” mentioned a psychic reading she purportedly conducted and positioned herself as a victim. She wrote that she was “perfectly OK with the restraining order.”

The order requires her to stay 100 yards from Donald, his wife, his four children and brother, as well as their homes, schools, vehicles and workplaces. It also prohibits her from contacting them directly or indirectly.

Donald and his lawyer did not respond to requests for comment.

Anwar, who has not been criminally charged in connection with the case, pleaded no contest to the battery charge in Las Vegas. The conditions include eight hours of impulse control counseling.

According to her LinkedIn page, her employment at the health care startup ended in July.

Anwar mentioned Donald several times in emails to The Athletic in June and July: “Seems like I have a problem with men bragging about being married to me and or some sort of intimate/personal relationship.” She listed several men, including McVay and Donald. She wrote that she “decided to take action” with Donald and the ensuing situation is “quite amusing to me, hilarious to be frank.”

The correspondence included bizarre claims about celebrities such as Dave East, Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner. She wrote: “You can tell people I am delusional. I don’t care.” She added, “I won’t win the media battle, not elite enough.”

Last month, Anwar copied The Athletic on an email sent to Donald’s lawyer claiming that an anonymous source informed her that Donald and a former teammate had recently entered her backyard and that her “instinct is to appeal the restraining order.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

By Nathan Fenno / The Athletic

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