What Swimming in My Underwear Taught Me About Donald Trump and Getting Away With It
Share
[aggregation-styles]
USA Today
USA Today
Last month I swam laps at a public health club in my underwear. I forgot my bathing suit and was damned if I was going to spend an hour walking home and back to get it. As I approached the pool, the horrified stares from two older women in the whirlpool made my humiliation feel as though I had accidentally taken a double dose of my daily “skin on fire” niacin. But as a litigator, I’ve learned to watch my case circle the drain and not flinch. And so I shot the women a look that said, “You perverts, haven’t you ever seen a man in a Fruit of the Loom bathing suit?”
With each lap, I expected a pool skimmer to hit me on the head before security dragged me out of the pool. But it never happened. And so instead of making a beeline to the locker room when I was done swimming, I was emboldened. I smiled at the same ladies as I joined them in the whirlpool. By this time, their shock had subsided and their expectations recalibrated. They didn’t raise an eyebrow as they shared a hot bath with a stranger in his underwear.
With each lap, I expected a pool skimmer to hit me on the head before security dragged me out of the pool. But it never happened. And so instead of making a beeline to the locker room when I was done swimming, I was emboldened. I smiled at the same ladies as I joined them in the whirlpool. By this time, their shock had subsided and their expectations recalibrated. They didn’t raise an eyebrow as they shared a hot bath with a stranger in his underwear.
By Michael J. Stern | 1 Dec 2019
RELATED TOPICS:
Shedeur Sanders’ Long Wait Ends When Browns Take Him in the 5th Round of the NFL Draft
Sports /
8 hours ago
Only About Half of Republicans Say Trump Has Focused on the Right Priorities
Politics /
11 hours ago
Shedeur Sanders Is Still Waiting for a Call as the NFL Draft Enters the Final Day
Sports /
11 hours ago
Paul Skenes Strikes Out 9, Wins Duel With Yamamoto in Pirates’ Victory Over Dodgers
Sports /
12 hours ago
Eovaldi Outlasts Verlander as Rangers Beat Giants
Sports /
12 hours ago
Rams Take Oregon Tight End Terrance Ferguson in Second Round After Trading Out of First
Sports /
12 hours ago
Latest
Videos

Science /
6 hours ago
Is It Bad to Chew Gum All Day?

Economy /
7 hours ago
Dollar Doubts Dominate Gathering of Global Economic Leaders

Sports /
8 hours ago
Shedeur Sanders’ Long Wait Ends When Browns Take Him in the 5th Round of the NFL Draft

Politics /
11 hours ago
Only About Half of Republicans Say Trump Has Focused on the Right Priorities

Video /
3 days ago
Wired Wednesday: What’s the Future of Fresno Unified and the Superintendent Position?

Opinion /
6 days ago
Zakaria Draws Parallels Between Trump’s Tariffs, Failed 1930s Economic Policies

Local /
1 week ago