Anthony W. Haddad

The Millennial View

Millennials are the bridge between two tech eras. We remember the days of dial-up internet and corded phones, and now we’re living with powerful computers in our pockets.

We don’t even have to leave our beds to make new friends — just a swipe to the right and we’re chatting with someone on the other side of the world or even down the street.

As is human nature, we’ve pushed some of our innovations to the limit. With apps like Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Raya (still waiting on that one…), and many others, our dating lives have shifted from face-to-face interactions to virtual spaces.

For many Millennials, dating apps have become a necessary tool for expanding their social circles beyond the confines of their existing friend groups. While few Millennials genuinely enjoy using them, these platforms have become essential in navigating our increasingly digital social landscape.

What used to be a meeting at a café or a chance encounter now happens with a swipe or a click (or a billboard in Dave’s case).

Related Story: The Rising Cost of Living: How Inflation and Stagnant Wages Squeeze Millennial ...

The Illusion of Choice

What does this digital realm of dating mean for us? In theory, we have more opportunities to find the love of our lives. We have access to a wider pool of potential partners we might never have met in person — thanks to the virtual space where geography no longer limits our options.

Yet, despite the seemingly endless possibilities, dating apps can lead to more superficial connections and decision paralysis instead of fostering meaningful relationships. The overwhelming number of options can make it harder to commit, trapping us in a cycle of perpetual searching and dissatisfaction.

“Oh, they gave you the ick? Block them and move on. There’s always another fish in the sea,” is the mentality that prevails. This mindset encourages us to cycle through as many profiles as possible, continuing the belief that there will always be another, better option to swipe on.

As a result of this illusion of choice and the belief that there’s always another catch, we often find ourselves stuck in surface-level interactions.

Related Story: I Am a Former Bitwiser and This Is My Story

Constant Validation and Rejection of Curated Content

The focus on profile pictures and brief bios reduces complex individuals to snapshots, making it difficult to gauge true compatibility beyond first impressions. The quick, swipe-based nature of dating apps prioritizes instant gratification, removing any patience and effort required for deep emotional connections.

Social media amplifies this by dictating what’s considered cool or attractive. Crafting the perfect profile photo — whether it’s a festival snapshot or a picture with a big fish (if that is what you are into) — becomes crucial. You spend hours perfecting angles, lighting, and filters, all while hoping the photo doesn’t disgust you when you are about to put it up. When “the likes” don’t pour in, it feels like a blow to your self-esteem.

The constant cycle of matches and rejections can seriously affect our self-worth, leading to increased anxiety and self-esteem issues. Seeing curated, polished content from others fosters unhealthy comparisons and feelings of inadequacy. After all, if their fish is bigger, does that mean their life is better?

Related Story: The Millennial View: Why I Love the Olympics

This also raises the issue of authenticity versus curation. We meticulously craft our profiles to present the best version of ourselves — or the version we wish we were. But is that truly who we are? Are we genuinely the globe-trotting adventurers we portray, or were those Paris photos just from a family trip that we’re hoping will make us look more world-savvy than we really are?

Millennials often struggle to forge genuine connections amidst a sea of curated profiles and polished images. If you can’t even make it past that first swipe, what’s the point? You need an eye-catching profile to get noticed, but once you’ve managed that, you’re left with pick-up lines and genuine conversations that you hope both enjoy to actually build a connection.

It’s a frustrating paradox — a meet-cute that seems more depressing than enchanting.

Going from Digital Communication to Real-Life Possibilities

We’re navigating a landscape filled with mixed signals, potential ghosting, and the fog of communication ambiguity. Digital interactions often leave us guessing about true intentions and emotional availability, making it tough to decode the real meaning behind a message or a lack thereof.

This heavy reliance on screens can erode the traditional social skills needed for face-to-face interactions. A joke that lands perfectly online might fall flat in person, leaving you with an awkward silence. The gap between online chemistry and real-life compatibility can be jarring, leading to the letdown of discovering that your virtual spark doesn’t quite ignite in the real world.

You might meet the love of your life on Tinder — someone with dazzling blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a personality that would make the gods envious (not that I’m talking about myself, of course). Yet, when you finally meet in person, the spark you imagined lighting up your world might be extinguished by something as trivial as how they chew gum or their laugh that just doesn’t sit right.

Related Story: The Rising Cost of Living: How Inflation and Stagnant Wages Squeeze Millennial ...

Let’s not forget the privacy and safety concerns that come with sharing personal information online. The risk of encountering someone who’s a creep or, worse, a complete catfish, is ever-present. You may show up hoping to find your fish-wielding knight in shining armor. Instead you’ve got a date with a frog.

What Millennials Should Do

Millennials need to strike a balance between the convenience of technology and the essence of genuine human connection. It’s crucial for us to look beyond the surface and nurture meaningful relationships, both online and offline. We need to stop hopping in with the intention that the next swipe will be our end-all-be-all.

By embracing authenticity and prioritizing deeper interactions, we can transcend the superficiality of dating apps and reconnect with the true value of real-world relationships. It’s about moving past the glossy profiles and curated images to rediscover the richness and depth of human connection.

And, one more thing: I don’t care about how big your fish is.