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'Don't Laugh at Me' Shows Fresno Youngsters How to Deal With Bullies
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By Nancy Price, Multimedia Journalist
Published 5 years ago on
February 5, 2020

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Ishan Singh and his friends have been bullied because of their Sikh religion. Dao Yang was called a nerdy over-achiever. Kaylee Gudino got picked on because of her looks โ€” in the second grade.

โ€œWhen my students first brainstormed the concept of presenting, they didnโ€™t want to present at the high schools. They wanted specifically to go to the elementary schools, because they said, โ€˜Ms. Mello, thatโ€™s where it starts.โ€™ โ€œ โ€” DLAM adviser Cyndi Mello
Most members of the Sunnyside High School bullying prevention club, Donโ€™t Laugh at Me (also known as DLAM), can recall being made fun of, or even abused, by a bully at some point in their lives.
Members of Sunnysideโ€™s Donโ€™t Laugh at Me club perform a skit at Balderas Elementary School. (GV Wire/Nancy Price)
And they draw on those memories and experiences in crafting performances that they take each year to elementary schools across Fresno Unified, to let younger kids know what they should do when a bully picks on someone.
Club adviser Cyndi Mello started the first Donโ€™t Laugh at Me club in 2001 when she was a โ€œnoviceโ€ teacher at Fowler High School and, in the wake of the Columbine High School shooting massacre, wanted to do something to help students feel like they belonged.
The concept for Donโ€™t Laugh at Me stemmed from a class writing assignment and the 1998 song with the same name, says Mello, who brought the club to Sunnyside in 2005.
After listening to the songโ€™s lyrics โ€” โ€œDonโ€™t laugh at me, donโ€™t call me names, donโ€™t get your pleasure from my painโ€ โ€” the students wrote in their journals about what the song meant to them.
And they wanted to take it further.
About This Series
This is the third in a series of articles profiling Sunnyside High School during the 2019-20 school year. GV Wire chose Sunnyside because of its many innovative programs and to offer readers an up-close look at high school life for students, teachers, and administrators.

Elementary School Is โ€˜Where It Startsโ€™

โ€œWhen my students first brainstormed the concept of presenting, they didnโ€™t want to present at the high schools,โ€ Mello recalls, who teaches English at Sunnyside. โ€œThey wanted specifically to go to the elementary schools, because they said, โ€˜Ms. Mello, thatโ€™s where it starts.โ€™

Photo of It's Cyndi Mello, adviser to the Sunnyside DLAM club
DLAM adviser Cyndi Mello
โ€œThe whole idea behind the program was, theyโ€™re going to reach a lot more students if they go to the elementary students, because A, they look up to us, and B, this is where itโ€™s starting.โ€
โ€œI had a friend, and he was getting bullied. I was sitting next to him, and I remember seeing he was in tears.โ€ โ€” DLAM student Kaylee Gudino
Sophomore DLAM member Kaylee Gudino remembers the troupe coming to Bakman Elementary in southeast Fresno when she was enrolled there. Kaylee says she started at Bakman in the second grade and was soon the target of a sixth-grader bully and his buddies who made fun of her looks, and even threw things at her.
She didnโ€™t tell anyone at school about what was happening (although she did tell her sister, then an eighth-grader at a middle school). The bullying ended when the sixth-grader moved on to middle school.
A few years later, she saw a classmate becoming emotional while watching a DLAM performance. โ€œI had a friend, and he was getting bullied,โ€ she says. โ€œI was sitting next to him, and I remember seeing he was in tears. And that impacted me, because I knew what was going on with him.โ€
Photo of Kaylee Gudino, Sunnyside DLAM
Sophomore Kaylee Gudino
Although he had told Kaylee and others not to say anything about him being bullied, she told an adult anyway. โ€œIโ€™m not sure if things got better or not, but I felt better telling a teacher or someone who could help him,โ€ she says.

Donโ€™t Stay Silent

Not speaking out is fairly typical for victims and witnesses to bullying. But the federal bullying prevention website, StopBullying.gov, reports that when bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds more often than not.
The website reports that the rates of bullying may be declining at the same time that there is a growing awareness of bullying. But the rates still remain high:

  • As many as one-third of students say they have been bullied at least once.
  • About 30% of young people admit they have bullied someone.
  • More than 70% of young people and school staff have seen bullying in schools.
  • However, only 20% to 30% of bullied students notify adults.
Students from Ayer Elementary participate in a Donโ€™t Laugh at Me performance at Sunnyside. (GV Wire/Nancy Price)
According to StopBullying.gov, the most promising strategies to preventing bullying include school community efforts that involve everyone โ€” students, families, teachers, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, nurses, office staff โ€” in creating a culture of respect. Intervention by bystanders who see bullying can make a big difference. And ongoing communication among adults โ€” parents as well as school staff โ€” about how to recognize and respond to bullying is key.

District Focuses on Bullying Prevention

Fresno Unifiedโ€™s efforts to combat bullying are multifold and include putting teachers on special assignment to help schools implement the Olweus Bullying Prevention program, considered by many to be one of the most effective.
Trainers from the districtโ€™s Department of Prevention and Intervention work with teams at school sites on curriculum for students. The goal is to create awareness among students and adults about what bullying is, says director Rita Baharian.

Photo of Rita Baharian
Director Rita Baharian
In recent years, thereโ€™s been a conscious shift toward promoting a more positive message โ€” kindness โ€” that stops bullying from occurring in the first place, Baharian says. School officials urge students to develop relationships at school.
โ€œWe do a lot of โ€˜get to know whoโ€™s in your class, get to know your classmates,โ€™ โ€ she says. โ€œBecause when you care about each other, youโ€™re less likely to harm each other.โ€
The message that Sunnysideโ€™s DLAM Club brings out to elementary schools helps reinforce those messages, she says: โ€œTheyโ€™re able to go and contribute to their community. But theyโ€™re also doing the education part, but itโ€™s coming from the student lens, which I think is really powerful.โ€

Sunnyside Club Is Unique in Fresno

โ€œI just want to let the world know who I am, and what it means to me to be a Sikh, and how Iโ€™ve been through these things but I donโ€™t let it affect me. I know who I am, and who I will always be.โ€ โ€” DLAM member Ishan Singh
Fresno Unified has 18 kindness clubs and 11 peer mediator clubs from elementary through high schools, district spokeswoman Vanessa Ramirez said.
But only Sunnyside has Donโ€™t Laugh at Me.
In some years so many students clamor to join the club that Mello has to hold auditions. Sheโ€™s stopped attending club fairs at the southeast Fresno high school because word of mouth and recruitments by fellow students quickly fill the clubโ€™s roster of 30 to 35 students.
At the start of each school year, students in the club each write a poem that starts with the phrase โ€œI am the person who was bullied because โ€ฆโ€
Some of their answers are incorporated in the skits and poems that they write for that yearโ€™s performances.
With restorative practices classes and programs becoming more widespread in the district, DLAM sought input from Sunnysideโ€™s restorative practices counselor to review and help rework the curriculum presented in the performances, she said.
Photo of Ishan Singh, DLAM/Sunnyside student
Sophomore Ishan Singh

Bullying Comes in Many Forms

โ€œItโ€™s not cool to bully because weโ€™re in high school. Weโ€™re kind of adults already, so you shouldnโ€™t be doing that.โ€ โ€” senior Dao Yang
DLAM attracts students who know firsthand what itโ€™s like to be bullied.
Sophomore Ishan Singh, 15, says he and Sikh friends have been called terrorists because of their brown skins and because many Sikhs wear turbans, which are part of their faith.
โ€œThat is not who we are,โ€ he says. โ€œWeโ€™re very bright people, weโ€™re very strong people. I just want to let the world know who I am, and what it means to me to be a Sikh, and how Iโ€™ve been through these things but I donโ€™t let it affect me. I know who I am, and who I will always be.โ€
Senior Dao Yang, 17, says she was too shy to join DLAM as a freshman, even though she โ€œreally reallyโ€ wanted to join. She was glad when one of her friends signed on with her when she was a sophomore.

Getting The Message Across

Photo of Dao Yang, DLAM/Sunnyside student
Senior Dao Yang
She hopes that the DLAM shows at elementary school will help younger students get the courage to stand up for themselves and to ask for help when they are being bullied.
Dao says she didnโ€™t recognize when she was younger that she was being bullied. โ€œI thought they wanted to be friends with me, but now in looking back I realize I actually did get bulliedโ€ as an over-achiever, she says.
Bullying may not happen as often among older students, but it does still happen, Dao says. When a special education student was โ€œjumpedโ€ by other students at Sunnyside earlier in the school year, DLAM students drew up posters to express their outrage.
โ€œItโ€™s not cool to bully because weโ€™re in high school. Weโ€™re kind of adults already, so you shouldnโ€™t be doing that,โ€ she says.
Sunnysideโ€™s Donโ€™t Laugh at Me club members perform for Ayer Elementary students at Sunnyside. (GV Wire/Nancy Price)

DLAM Gives Sunnyside Students a Boost

DLAM isnโ€™t just a way to mentor and educate younger students in Fresno Unified about bullying. Itโ€™s also a service-learning experience that allows club members to develop their creative writing, public speaking,  and civic engagement skills.
Mello says the club has been particularly useful to students who struggle with public speaking.
One Sunnyside student who was enrolled in the Doctors Academy program was almost pathologically shy when he joined DLAM. Over time his public speaking skills improved, and by the time he graduated he was selected to deliver his graduating classโ€™s valedictory address, Mello said.

Taking The Show on The Road

โ€œI was afraid I would have gotten picked on more, so I did nothing about it. But my friend came along to help me and stood up for me.โ€ โ€” student Khalyna Thao
Thereโ€™s no visible shyness as the DLAM club members take the stage in the cafetorium at Balderas Elementary School on a recent foggy morning. The young students come from their classrooms wearing hats and jackets โ€” the schoolโ€™s boilers are on the fritz that morning.
High up on one wall is a banner that declares Balderas as a Bully-Free Zone and lists four anti-bullying rules.
The lights dim and hundreds of elementary school students sitting cross-legged on the floor fix their eyes on the stage where โ€œbig kidsโ€ in black T-shirts sing songs, recite poems, and act in skits.
As the DLAM members sing along to โ€œDonโ€™t Laugh At Me,โ€ which marks the end of each performance, some portray different characters from the song, including a teenage mom and a homeless man in a wheelchair.
Puppets are used in Donโ€™t Laugh at Me skits designed for elementary students. (GV Wire/Nancy Price)
But the two performances are designed specifically with materials for younger and older elementary kids. For the first through third graders, the performance opens with a rousing rendition of โ€œBaby Sharkโ€ and includes a skit with puppets and another skit in which the youngsters are encouraged to shout responses at the top of their lungs.
Vice principal May Lee-Stanton

Driving Home The Lesson

The DLAM presentation was particularly timely because the school had learned about a new incident of cyberbullying, vice principal May Lee-Stanton says.
โ€œIt connected to something that had happened just this morning, and I just thought, this is perfect,โ€ she says. โ€œWe need to be reminded itโ€™s happening daily, and itโ€™s something real that our kids face daily.โ€
Lee-Stanton says bullying typically isnโ€™t a problem at the elementary school but does surface on occasion, as at any school. โ€œWe just want to make sure that our kids feel safe, and that they know what to do. Itโ€™s all about bringing awareness to our students.โ€

Fifth-grader Khalyna Thao

Show Reinforces Anti-Bullying Message

Fifth-grader Khalyna Thao, 11, says sheโ€™s glad the show at Balderas helps reinforce the message that students shouldnโ€™t bully other students, that and bullied students shouldnโ€™t be afraid to stand up for themselves and tell someone about whatโ€™s happening.
She says she didnโ€™t do that, at least initially, when she was bullied as a younger student for how she dressed and for being smart. โ€œI was afraid I would have gotten picked on more, so I did nothing about it.
โ€œBut my friend came along to help me and stood up for me.โ€ Khalyna then decided to tell a teacher, and โ€œeverything worked out in the end.โ€
After that when she saw other friends being called or names or pushed to the ground, โ€œI had to go help them out,โ€ she says.

Sixth-grader Jacob Serna

โ€˜Iโ€™m Not Gonna Make Fun Of Peopleโ€™

Sixth-grader Jacob Serna said heโ€™s never been bullied and hasnโ€™t seen it at Balderas, but he knows he would want to help anybody who was targeted by bullies.

โ€œYou always find that one kid thatโ€™s in tears, and you just want to give them a hug, but you canโ€™t because youโ€™re on stage singing. Itโ€™s so sad to see.โ€ โ€” DLAM member Kaylee Gudino
As for cyberbullying: โ€œIf Iโ€™m on social media and stuff โ€” which Iโ€™m not because I donโ€™t have it โ€” but if I ever am on it, Iโ€™m not gonna make fun of people, and Iโ€™m gonna think before I type anything, and stuff.โ€
During the performance at Balderas, Kaylee looks out into the audience and sees a student who reminds her of her friend who was bullied years ago at Bakman.
โ€œYou always find that one kid thatโ€™s in tears, and you just want to give them a hug, but you canโ€™t because youโ€™re on stage singing,โ€ she says. โ€œItโ€™s so sad to see.โ€
Balderas Elementary students watch intently as Sunnyside students talk about bullying in their Donโ€™t Laugh at Me performance. (GV Wire/Nancy Price)

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Nancy Price,
Multimedia Journalist
Nancy Price is a multimedia journalist for GV Wire. A longtime reporter and editor who has worked for newspapers in California, Florida, Alaska, Illinois and Kansas, Nancy joined GV Wire in July 2019. She previously worked as an assistant metro editor for 13 years at The Fresno Bee. Nancy earned her bachelor's and master's degrees in journalism at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism. Her hobbies include singing with the Fresno Master Chorale and volunteering with Fresno Filmworks. You can reach Nancy at 559-492-4087 or Send an Email

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